Little things have come to mind lately, a comment here, a messed up dream there, a talk with Coach D. and then Wednesday and THursday while spending time working on a fundraiser for the track team, God spoke to my heart.
Wednesday night I met another soccer mom who stated she had a medical condition that wouldn't allow her to drive over 45 miles per hour. She doesn't drive into Kansas City for soccer games. I mentioned that I don't like to drive anymore because I'm afraid of passing out. She said that's exactly what she has. Made me feel so much better that yes, someone else does deal with this issue, and I'm not totally crazy in the head. The panic attacks are real, but I don't know how to stop them, or if I ever will be able to. They just come out of the blue. Usually, when I'm not feeling very comfortable about going someplace, but they have happened on the way home - when I should be thrilled to be headed home. Weird.
Anyhow, Wednesday evening I talked to Commander a bit, about feeling uncomfortable about driving the CC/Track team to meets. Coach had recently given me two CC meets in September and October that I would be responsible for driving the van of women. After our talk, I emailed him about this, and offered some suggestion as to how it could be taken care of, to include splitting the salary between me and our other coach (volunteer) to see if she would drive for him. I immediately felt relief and that we had done the right thing.
THursday while cutting out stickers for a "Make your own School Spirit Shirt" I had a lot of time to talk and listen.
I felt I was being told by God to let Coach D. hire another coach that he has spoke about in our last few conversations. I believe now that he needs someone more ambitious about being the head coach when the team has to be split, and he needs someone who really knows how to recruit. I felt the push to release Coach from his commitment to me so that he can do what it best for the team. I wrote him an email and told him so. I feel at ease, again I feel like I was led to do what is right for the team. Yeah, it will probably drop me back to a volunteer position, but if I can help the throwers again this year, it will be fun. If it doesn't work out, I know God has bigger plans for me in the future. I'm also hoping a friend gets a job with the school system that will allow her to work closer to home. If that happens, the boys and I might get to babysit for her in the mornings. That would be a plus for all of us.
Our life might be changing next year when Commander finally retires for real. God knows what will be taking place and he knows what needs to be done now for us to be ready for His next assignment for us.
OKAY - I wanted to post this verse but blanked entirely as to where to find it in the Bible, so I searched the concordance. It didn't help. I couldn't believe it. So I saved this draft, click on the search engine for a Bible verse search program, and right in front of me on the screen two verses kept flip-flopping. The verse I wanted was right in front of my eyes. How Cool!
Jeremiah 29: 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declared the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
And, He gives the peace that surpasses all understanding.
Have a blessed weekend.