Spring Break with snow

Today it started snowing - March 23rd. We are expecting anywhere from 8-10 inches of snow.

Commander took 2 boys with him this morning. First stop soccer game, second stop TKD testing, and then third stop - not scheduled. He stopped at a local farm supply store.  When they came home, the two boys came in saying, "They were free! They were free!" 
The story told was that a photographer would get a couple of baby chicks and ducks to use for pictures and then return them to the store when done. The store didn't want them anymore, since they are done selling birds. Commander, or Herogian mentioned that we have birds. The man handed them the box and said, "They are free!"
They came home with 3 chicks.
Our garage is overran by birds. 35 to be exact.


While the boys were out today, I had garden duty. Twenty 40# bags of dirt, put in 9 post to hold fencing around the raised garden. As I was finishing with the last screw, Hawk yelled for me to look up. It was snowing. The fencing still needed to go around it and the gate area blocked off to keep the dogs out of the new dirt. Got it done along with spreading grass seed across the front yard and part of the back. A neighbor told me this is a good time to put down seed. The snow will cover it, protecting it from the birds, water it and give it time to root as it melts off. HMMM. I looked a bit daff pushing the spreader around the yard with large snowflakes falling. As I finished, I noticed that another neighbor was also spreading grass seed.

Commander and I are logging miles for moon joggers.  www.moonjoggers.com  the goal is to run to the moon and back this year as a group.  I think the group has 147,000+ miles already.  We have 425 of it. Woohoo. This has been a good incentive to keep moving. I'm also keeping track of our milage separately. The competitor in each of us, doesn't want to be outdone - by too much.

The sleeping improved last night. I woke up. Therefore, I was asleep.

breaking an addiction

Part 1 - I've decided to get off a sleep aid to hopefully reduce panic attacks and anxiety caused by long term use.

It will just take the edge off, let you cross that bridge into sleep. It's not habit forming or anything, great new drug. Wanna make a bet?

In 2005 when I started anti hormonal therapy after breast cancer treatments, two of the meds I was taking caused Insomnia. So the solution was to take an anxiety drug at low dosage just at night to help me fall asleep, its suppose to be out of the system in six hours, so that's a good start on a good night's rest. Eight years later, it's time to get off the med.

I recall the first signs of a panic attack back in 2008 driving the three boys home from Oklahoma. The palpating heart, the drop of blood from the noggin, the fuzzy -'I could pass out feeling'. Thought it was blood sugar dropping. Pulled over, popped food in my mouth, concentrated on getting the boys back into the van and home we went. The only problem was that these episodes started increasing.

In the last two years, the fuzzy brain has showed up with just driving into town, or coming home from practice. Again, I thought is was blood sugar issues. I'd pull off into a neighborhood, sit for a while and suck on candy or drink my son's mountain dew; to his chagrine. Then it happened at a red light. I was waiting to turn left at a large intersection and was in the turn lane. I almost backed up and pulled over. I was only 4 miles from home. I thought I was going nuts. I started squeezing butt cheeks together, then the stomach to push blood upward. I tapped out rhythm on my thigh, steering wheel, tried to sing with the radio when i felt like jumping out of the sub (suburban) and screaming. I knew it was time to see a doctor. All through this time, I'm still taking this anxiety pill at night to sleep.

I was sent to Providence Hospital for a tilt table test. Lie down on their nice table, let them strap you on, and stay there for ten minutes; piece of cake. Then they stood the table up. One of the straps is strategically placed over the knee caps, you can't bend. Passed out in twelve minutes. Vaso Vago Syncope, blood pressure drops and you pass out. Drink gatorade and more water to keep your fluids up. Okay. Sweet and easy cure.

I keep a 32 ounce bottle of water or mixed gatorade with me at all times. I don't buy it at the store premade, I mix my own so I can tone down on the amount - don't need to drink calories and sugar all day. yet the anxiety has now surfaced. I feel it coming on at red lights, driving faster speeds on the hwy, afternoons rushing from one practice to the next. It's a game now, eat a protein bar to make it through practice, drink gatorade through practice to make it to the next scheduled event, eat there to make it home, take the back roads, and "Thank you, Lord, for boys needing driver's ed hours."

So how is all this related to an axiety pill I want to drop? Wikipedia clearified it for me. Long term effects of benzodiazepines (family of drugs) 'It was found that, after several years of chronic benzodiazepine use, a large portion of patients developed various mental and physical health problems including agoraphobia, irritable bowel syndrome, parasthesiae, INCREASED ANXIETY, and PANIC ATTACKS, which were not preexisting.  The article also stated that withdrawal from these products 'can lead to a reduction in anxiety symptoms....'  This is what I'm praying for.

Last night was the first night on 1/2 the dose. 0.5mg. I think I talked myself into keeping my eyes closed most of the night. Don't look at the clock, don't look at the clock.I felt like Smeegle and Gollum.
 Sleep behavior training suggest not taking naps during the day to improve sleep at night.  I might have to go outside and stand in the snow to keep awake. Yes, it is snowing again in Kansas.

So Day 1. I'm tired. I'm thankful that it is THursday, our easiest day. I'm thankful that this is the day that the Lord has made and He is in charge of it.

When we are weak, God is strong

This past Saturday the USM track team traveled to Emporia for the first outdoor meet of the season. Our javelin thrower was having a rough couple of days - physically. He said he felt like he was dealing with food poisoning - upset stomach, headache, chills, no fever that he could tell. He never complained about having to go to the meet while feeling bad, he was just ready to get some marks and throw as best he could.

At the meet, he had to wait until around 4 in the afternoon before it was time for his heat of six men to throw. I told him to take it easy, get one good throw in and if he felt worse and didn't want to try the other three attempts, I'd deal with our head coach. I let him keep his outer layer of warm up shorts and long sleeve on, which would have been an issue with the head coach. I felt concerned for Michael, just like a mom for her son. It is no fun competing when you are sick. Little things like keeping a shirt on can help.

He ran back his approach and we put a shoe down to mark a suggested starting area. We didn't measure his long approach. He didn't know if he could throw from a long approach or would just use a short one. He warmed up with a couple of throws and then asked for last years PR distance. We remembered his farthest throw from last year being  around 128'. I told him I'd pray for him.

THe first guy threw and his javelin landed close to a line on the field, it ended up being about 130'. I kept my eyes on the line for when Michael threw. His went past the line. First throw 132'. He didn't believe me, so I showed him the converter on my phone. I prayed for another meter. Knowing Michael was feeling week, I asked for God to show Michael His strength through him. Second throw 135'. That's a meter. Michael was shocked. Pray throw, Pray throw. Michael's third was 138' and his 4th throw 140' 4". How's that for a record breaking day? 12 feet!

I was also doing a lot of praying at the sand pit that day. Three jumpers long jumping and then triple jumping. Maria matched her PR in the Long Jump, and then went a foot farther in the Triple then she was indoors - we still need another foot to match her PR and qualify for nationals. Trevor jumped over 20 feet in the long jump, but just short of his PR. Our third jumper - we are praying for the approach and the board to match up during competition as well as it does in warmups. 

Praying for good weather in Parkville, Tuesday 19th and then again Saturday at Baker Univ.